Guess who’s back? Tell a friend, tell a friend, tell a friend


It’s the return of the giant link-list email newsletter thing, now consolidated into a blog post for yourmy convenience. Would anyone be interested in an occasional mix-CD?

Bacon. A food so delicious that the bible forbids it. Sin with me: bacon cupcakes, Mike Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 commits suicide by bacon, bacon explosion, get that bacon out of your teeth with bacon floss, chocolate bacon and the coup de bacon, candied bacon ice cream

File under “and people say I’m hard to shop for”: happy vagina t-shirts, aquarium toilet, check out the speakers on her, vagina perfume

File under “like goldy, but with iron”: Catholic church needs to read the bible more, apparently

Questions are a burden to others, answers a prison for oneself:

Science! It works, bitches! : Tattoo changes color with glucose levels.

Rob wants to give you a high five!

So…about that salmonella peanut butter: bird shit.

Freebase caffeine

There are no words for Starfish hitler

Science makes a mermaid.

do you know how hard it is to find dancing bears?


You are getting this random assortment of links for entertainment purposes. And to waste time with at work. Consider it anti-spam, or the obverse of those links your interwebaolnet-unsavvy friend sends you (you know, “OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY WANT TO TAX TEH WEB?!?” or “HERE’S A CHAIN LETTER THAT SAYS YOUR GENITALS WILL FALL OFF IF YOU DON’T PASS IT ALONG”). If this email bothers you, um….tell me and I won’t send you any more. Or just delete it. Whatever.

The sad part is that they really live for the tango:

Man, Disney’s really stretching the copyright on Mickey….

I know I sent this out before, but it’s still funny, and who doesn’t love smoking horses?

Well, as long as we’re talking smoking horses, let’s talk about eating dinosaurs:

I have of late been fascinated by Nikola Tesla. Among other things, he liked electricity enough to invent the alternating current. And the Tesla Coil, which even if you don’t know what that is, you’ve seen in countless shitty horror movies. See a musical tesla coil: Speaking of weirdo scientists, isaac newton: genius or religious crank? on the one hand, the man invented calculus and just by thinking, explained the basic language of nature and the universe. on the other hand, he once put a sewing needle between his eyeball and his skull and moved it around a lot, just to see what would happen (he was experimenting with the effect that distortion of the ocular globe would have on vision, but still). This would be after he spent three days in a black room for having stared at the sun for a hour. Again, just to see what would happen.

Bubba nosferatu and the curse of the she-vampires is being made: This is a prequel to the movie “Bubba Ho-Tep”. Brief summary of Bubba Hotep: The real Elvis gets tired of the hoopla about being The King. So he (The real Elvis Aaron Presley,) hires an Elvis impersonator to play him and he goes and does Elvis tribute shows, getting to “rock out” without being mobbed for being Elvis. Except the next week his impersonator is the dude who dies on the toilet. And the real Elvis continues his merry life of “playing” Elvis and getting to be a musician. Except he falls off a stage and hits his head and winds up in a coma. For 20 years. When he wakes up, he’s in a nursing home sharing a room with a black dude who says he’s John F. Kennedy — the CIA gave him a brain transplant into a black guy so no one’d believe him, and packed the missing brain area with sand. Circumstances being what they are, a mummy ends up loose in the nursing home, stalking the old people (which makes sense, where else could a mummy pose a threat? Mummies stumble slowly, but it’s not like old people can run fast.) ANYWAY, Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She-Vampires is a prequel, wherein Elvis fights vampires. Did I mention that Bruce Campbell plays Elvis? Cos he does: is a web-comic made of old pictures from woodcuts etc. It’s great. I am very fond of but they’re all pretty funny.

I have trouble sleeping sometimes….if you do too, you might like:

HIV taken out of live cells: as in, the cells were infected, then they snipped the HIV outta the cells. Whoa. Wait until they cure HIV/AIDS. Mark my words: there will be fucking in the streets.

phernomones cause brain cell growth: So the next time your certain someone acts stupid, get ’em to smell your sweat. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves, folks.

Household tips:

hey, new list for the wonders of the modern world: (cos the 7 wonders of the ancient world mostly don’t exist anymore. except the pyramids at giza and it’s not like they’re in that good shape…)

The discovery of molecular receptors totally revolutionized medicine; it’s made it possible to “aim” a particular drug at a particular cell-type’s receptors and be reasonably sure you’re going to affect that cell type and not the whole body. (aside: if you don’t think this is close to magic, consider that the other option is to basically hit a mosquito with a cannon. c.f. treating cancer with radiation and chemotherapy.) So it’s good news that a new type snail venom (no, I’m not kidding,) has been found that does very specific targeting: But that’s not why I’m writing all of this shit down. No no no no no no. I’m telling you all this just so that I can link you to a very short video clip of one of these snails attacking, stunning and eating a fish:

last link for the hypochondriacs in da house:

"There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’

I’m bored and it’s been at least a week since I’ve mailed most of you, so you get a generic mail that is bound to entertain you at least as long as it takes you to hit delete.

The subject is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut’s “Goodbye Mr Rosewater”. Vonnegut died this week and if you’re not familiar with his writing, your life is sadder for it. You’ve seen back to school, the Rodney Dangerfield 80’s piece of shit movie? Remember when he hires a guy to write a term paper about Kurt Vonnegut and the professor says “whoever wrote this paper doesn’t know anything about Kurt Vonnegut” ? The dude who Dangerfield hires to write the paper — that’s Kurt Vonnegut.

So last week I spoke to my lawyer/guitarist friend and it turns out that he and his wife are so freaked out about pet food killing their dogs that she’s taken to cooking food for them and giving him dogfood. I’ll miss you bro — can I have your guitars? Turns out that making your own pet food is perhaps not that hard:

I found that last link at the ever-“oh-neat!”-inducing site,

Incredibly funny and horrifying at the same time: it’s not true, it’s satire damn it. i know someone that I’ll email this to will need that explained.)

dumbest legal battle ever:

saddest kermit ever (also a must-see for Nine Inch Nails fans, this means you Robert):

Getting off a government watch list:

“NATURE IS A LANGUAGE CAN’T YOU READ?”, or Continuing a theme, part deux:
(part one is:

If you like postsecret ( if you don’t know what I’m talking about) then you maybe wanna hit up the live expo here in miami ..

This goes to my neo-hippie peeps (you know who you are,) :

Better brains through science:

And I’ll leave you with a bad joke: what do vegeterian zombies crave? GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNSSSS…..

i grabbed my head and we fell into it like a daydream or a fever


I hurt my back so I’m bored. Which means you get an email full of weird stuff.

ok, so you may or may not have seen michel gondry’s “the science of sleep” (i haven’t, but i hear it’s good. i recommend the “director’s series” compilation DVD though.) but he’s done a bunch of music videos that are really bizarre and imaginative (bjork, beck, etc — to give you a taste, here’s a Cibo Matto vid: ). the man’s a visual poet of very high caliber, just take my word for it. but that’s not why i bring Michel Gondry up. I bring him up for cheap comedy; to wit:

see michel gondry solve a rubik’s cube with his feet:

ok, but where’s the art in that? here’s how he did it:

and then again, here’s michel gondry solving a rubik’s cube WITH HIS NOSE:

really really great for decorating an office: a picture, tell it how many pages wide and viola, printable poster)

genius, but you know it’s gonna suck when you’re juuuuuust running out:

the empire doesn’t pay like it used to:

also really great (but weird) art:

I can’t stop listening to this. — no wait i meant

Godspeed! You Black Emperor’s “The Dead Flag Blues” in video: (cf GYBE! live: “world police / friendly fire”)

am forgetful. i seriously have not spoken to people for months because i just forget to call them back. might help you if you’re like me.

a cellphone that biodegrades and sprouts flowers:

sleep, it’s good for your brain: other news, the sky is blue, water is wet, pope is still catholic and 99% of bears still shit in the woods.

lego, for when you’re just too damn lazy: