I don’t know. This at home, in the heart, complex and annoying. Feeling …not broken, but pathetic, bathetic. Sterling’s preggers, Sun’s home, Avery is huge, my mother thinks I hate her or I’m a jerk, I don’t really know anymore. hot sub w/ sun earlier. she’s way cool and outta all the girls probably the one I am most comfortable with. I love taitai and meimei and sterling, but sun’s a good mix of them all. i think in jan i will go with mills to get my tattoo. she’s gotta decide what she wants though…I’m getting a new tele tomorrow, I hope. I am giving the SG to Mei-mei to fuck with, the pickguard to either sun or tai-tai. new guitars are funfunfun, always leads you somewhere else, like a new girl or a new car or a new way home.
I have a dog now, he is cute and small and I am responsible for him. I hope to get a cat sooner rather than later; a jellicle for preference (gonna name her “Sally Pimienta”).
talked to eden like 4 or 5 times in the last week; things are rough on his end vis-a-vis V. which sucks, he’s had it rough sometimes. he was very sincere and sorry about getting out of touch with us all, said thanks for me trying to keep in touch with him since he didn’t know how to start things. he’s spoken to solo and bunny and will probably maybe this time come to miami. I dunno. Told me Mo’s living in O-town and they don’t really hang or speak. eden talks to mike now and again tho..
while moving I found some boxes with pictures. i feel distant from them, they don’t really touch me anymore…I don’t know how to feel about that.
good books: world war Z, that dylan bio I’m xmas’ing away, the last postsecret book mills gave me for xmas
good music: night ripper by girl talk — all samples…shit, it’s like “paul’s boutique” all over again; coil’s “the ape of naples” which i re-listened to because bunny hooked me up with coil bootlegs and i ran into an interview with sleazy from last year about all the shit since balance died…oh and the new fucking daft punk album is so fucking hot it glows
vignette: eden’s gf at the time lived on sunset, i go with him to hang, her gay friend says hello — i am broken and falldown ebcause of mo. i leave the party and go to his old pad with ron — rose was there even then — and tell him our friendship’s over. he tells rose that if it’s her fault…blahblahblah. i tell him it’s his fault, it’s about b but more about how he didn’t tell me. i leave and go back to the party. the girlfriend’s gay friend tells me my aura has changed color dramatically — from orange/red to green (or other way? I don’t remember the colors he said). I tell eden and tell him what happened.
