Yuk Bon

I just stumbled on a site about Set Theory Primer as it relates to music theory. Which reminds me of my favorite story about music I wrote that no one ever heard.

Bunny called me up, “hey there’s a gallery opening, we’re doing a music/performance/installation — the theme of the gallery is Summerian/Babylonian art, they’re showing some pieces etc etc”

I dig Sumer, cradle of civilization etc etc and I’ve read through Snow Crash so I know just a bit more than nothing about their language construction (atonal glosolalia? or some shit. doesn’t matter, i’m not writing poetry). So I look up Summerian music. Turns out it uses a 60-tone scale. Because I am S-M-R-T smart, I figure OK, I can make music akin to atonal 12-tone theory pieces, but I have to use 1/2 and 1/4 microtones (ie, bends and half-bends) and viola, 12-tone automagically becomes 60-tone. So I write this long droning piece in an open D tuning and because it would be a bitch to be bending whole chords (although you get some really awesome dissonances, some sonic youth/glenn branca shit going on where the notes beat against each other in the air) I go and get me a slide. So it’s like this blues hawaiian indian drone monster thing. It’s made of pure, concentrated awesome.

And then the day of the show, come to find out they go on an hour before they said they would and also that the music has been relegated to the alley behind the gallery. Which is OK, since that’s where the party people’s at anyway. Ran into solo and other people from the wayback.

Enjoy this discussion on the nature of reality by Phillip K. Dick: How to Build a Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later.

You know, there’s a reason why I traded Johann Hz my trusty old Peavy amp for 60 or 70 PKD books.

in which Sterling provides an apt summary:
“I consider it my personal Vietnam. If I had gone in and struck hard and fast and all in one go, none of that shit would have gone down. But because I didn’t, because I took it slow, I sabotaged myself. And I think it was because [removed].”
“…So you consider it all your fault?”
“Yes.”
“And none of it would have happened and [removed] would still be friends with [removed].”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of guilt.”

in which Laura considers the possibility that there may be a better way to handle situations
Laura: so, he is right. we do need more time. though i think he went about it totally wrong. but, i do realize he doesnt have the emotional capability/tact that i hhave
(erm, maybe i dont always hav tact)
David: like when you laughed at [laura's ex-boyfriend]‘s naked erection?
Laura: yes
David: some people might say that was …. less than fully tactful

in which Little Trouble Girl summarizes her complex love life:
“So I’m going to see my husband in the hospital, but I stopped by to have lunch with my boyfriend — that I’m not having sex with because he’s married — to tell him about how I didn’t get laid last night with my coworker/crush because he couldn’t get it hard despite a long blowjob and to complain about how my fuckbuddy just left for [unnamed country] which is good because we might be developing feelings for each other. Which would be bad.”

in which i make an ass of myself at a party:
“dude i was in college when you were still sucking your momma’s dick!”
“you know my mom’s dead, right?”

title courtesy of The Bird and The Bee’s “fucking boyfriend”, which song was what was playing on the CD that I gave Little Trouble Girl after her romantic misadventure with her puppy-love/co-worker person thing when she was driving to work and ran into (figuratively) said puppy-love/coworker. Like some shit out of a John Hughes movie or something.

speaking to squirt yesterday she drops “you know the reason i never liked you romantically 12 years ago when we met was because when i asked what you looked like you were so negative that it killed it”. i cock-blocked myself. I bummed about this on several levels.

got mail from skeeter’s man that her kid (#2) had been born, with attendant pictures. They both look glowingly happy, her in particular but that might be a mix between relief and happy and tiredness. The amusing thing is on friday I wanted to call her and in fact got as far as dialing but she’s still mad at me (justafiably, i’m a sellout although i take issue with her iron-gripped resentimiento, i’m guilty of the same thing so i can’t really complain about that too hard.) and probably would not have answered but I never got to follow up and call again. Too much of that is annoying, especially when someone is pointedly not answering. But WWu mails occasionally, and I hear things on the grapevine de rato en rato so I guess it’s ok.

It’s hardly news that I am horrible about checking my messages. So yesterday I finally check my voicemail at work — I haven’t checked it since December, easily. There’s a familiar number but I can’t place it. Victor, telling me to fix the fucking LDAP lookups about two weeks before he died.

played at the thing at soya and pomawhatever on 1st and 1st NE. it was rockin’. or more ambient. whatever. it was fun; nestor tweaked what i played live and bunny dropped live video. the crafty witch showed up looking good enough to eat, nicole also looking gorgeous and i think i ticked the lovely emily off yet again. got to play the fat tele live tho. swa-eet. i think i’m going to call that augmented chord shape song (xx231x) “i hope you die in a fire in the gaping maw of your cunt”. really it’s just an excuse to use the phrase gaping maw.

John Dies At The End is
a) going to be made into A FUCKING MOVIE (a1 is THERE’S A BOOK! ON AMAZON! WHICH I HAVE ORDERED ALREADY!)
and
b) there’s a sequel!

“This here is Molly. She was a good dog. And when I say ‘good dog’ I don’t mean it the way other people mean it, when they’re talking about a dog that never shit on the floor or bit their kids. No, I’m talking about a dog that died saving Amy’s life. By my rough count, that’s half a dozen times Molly saved one of our lives. How many dogs can say that? Hell, how many people can say that? One time, Dave was in a burning building, and Molly here rescued him by getting behind the wheel of his car and driving into the building. You know that couldn’t have been easy for her.

Anyhow, Molly died, in the way that all really good things die, fast and brutal and for no apparent reason. They say that even though it often appears that God just really, really doesn’t give a shit about what happens here, that that’s just an illusion and that He really does care after all, and that it’s all part of his great plan to make it appear that He doesn’t give a shit. Though what fucking point that serves I can’t possibly imagine. I think God probably just wanted Molly for Himself, and I guess I can’t blame Him.

So, here you go, God. Here’s your dog back, I guess. We hereby commit Molly to doggy heaven, which is probably nicer than regular heaven, if you think about it. Amen.”

ninjedit: while I was bummed out that Molly died in the sequel, I have hopes that Wong will bring her back in some non-evil and horrible way. I discovered JDatE during the aftermath of Hurricane Wilma and I read it on my fucking blackberry, which was the only internet-connected device I had (because I could charge it in the car).

Also, Eden is in town and I stole his tiny hat!

sacrilicious! http://www.adultswim.com/games/biblefight/index.html

fuck you for shitting on the constitution you fucking fuck: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/27/washington/27cnd-gonzales.html

actually kind of catchy http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1765963

not what you think: http://www.cooterfestival.com/

http://www.guinness.com/a/img/craic/downloads/wallpaper/1024×768/dreamclubSq1024.jpg

minotaur having a breakdown in a public bathroom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TssuSYrxVI very creepy and yet full of pathos. Also, hey, Einsturzende Neubaten that has melody, instead of dudes hitting shopping carts with rebar.

Some friends of mine recently won an award for a film they put together for MOCA (Museum of Contemporary Art, for you philistines). See the very short film at http://uvu.channel2.org/PublicSite/Video.aspx?id=805&skin=5

An idea whose time has come: Wiki Cookbooks http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Cookbook:Table_of_Contents admittedly, not as good as abuelita’s cooking, but hey, something’s better than nothing.

I know it makes me a bad person, but I can’t help but laugh at http://www.10dailythings.com/2007/08/15/guinea-pigs-fighting-for-a-cucumber/

…and the moral of the story is: don’t get bare with bears with beer. http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/20/bear.death.reut/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

if you’re any kind of artist or creative person, you should see the potential in this: http://www.tdbspecialprojects.com/

Here is a picture of a tiger feeding piglets. I am attaching it specifically for Silvia, because I said I would. I don’t remember why, but well, there it is.

I don’t know, but it looks freaky: http://defamer.com/hollywood/psychedelic-hobbits/elijah-wood-and-friends-happy-to-inform-you-the-drugs-are-working-291475.php

make your own non-newtownian fluid: http://www.gogglemarks.net/index.php?action=project&id=4
…wait, you don’t know what a non-newtownian fluid is? see http://youtube.com/watch?v=f2XQ97XHjVw or http://youtube.com/watch?v=lDzampa3xrc or creepiest of all: http://youtube.com/watch?v=WTCkVh9CWT8

origami for asthmatic kids: http://www.changemakers.net/en-us/node/1389

You may have seen it already, but god, it just hurts to watch someone be this stupid in public: “Well I believe that US Americans can’t, um, do that, find America on a map, because, I believe, some people don’t have maps, and, our education, like South Africa – and countries in Asia – we should help them. South Africa and those Asian countries, we should help educate them.” — Miss Teen USA 2007, South Carolina http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQdhMSEqhfg

I started a new job. Which is cool. So I have a new phone, but my phone number is the same. Except my voicemail’s a bit FUBAR’d at the moment. So if you call and you get someone else’s voice asking you to leave a message…don’t worry about it, it’s still my phone. Also, I can’t check my voicemail, so uh….I’ll call you back. Or you can email me, I’m usually pretty good about answering my email.

Jesus WEPT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k98bRUOb4g …I cannot explain this, except to say that clearly these kids have perhaps had sex described to them and this is how their sad, broken minds were able to understand it. They’ve obvously never actually had sex. Or talked to women. Please watch it until the end so that you can see the end credits. I’m not kidding about that either.

Epic: http://www.yonkis.com/w.php?id=234200712145.jpg woman gives birth to two girls of different colors: http://www.hoax-slayer.com/black-white-twins.html

title says it all: http://www.filedorm.com/show.php/510_CaughtOnFilmExplainthistoyourboss.wmv.html

The use of the word boner to mean “mistake” isn’t very common anymore, which totally makes this hysterical: http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2007/03/top_15_unintent.html

David Bowie has the best birthday parties — to wit: Bjork playing live at his birthday party. Backed by a harp. With a choir. And a guy shuffling cards providing rhythm. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv6rzhZ83rk

I mentioned Kurt Vonnegut’s passing and was asked why he was so great. I give you proof: http://www.avclub.com/content/node/60935/1

Hey, Dave, enough with the seriousness, give us lighthearted and cheerful news, right? http://bradhicks.livejournal.com/334314.html I’ll give you a teaser:

“Republicans, and their right-wing Democrat fellow travelers, have been telling
us since even before Reagan that we need to eliminate expensive and “wasteful”
regulations that are crippling our businesses’ productivity, that if we
deregulated our industries back to where they were before the Progressive Era,
they’d be making enough money to be able to afford more people. That, my
friends, is a total load of crap. And if you want a really vivid example of why
those regulations were all put in place, then I suggest that you hop a flight
down to Panama, and other places in the world, and start helping the families
down there count the bodies that died from one shipment of tainted merchandise
from China. They’ve already passed the 100 mark, and have all but given up on
finding all of them. And while you’re helping them tally up all of the dead
children, consider this: it is only by insanely good luck that a couple of dozen
or a couple of hundred of those dead kids weren’t here in the US. What, you
thought that poison showing up in adulterated products mis-labeled as food was
limited to coal byproducts in animal feed? You wish. It also turns out that
around the same time, China was allowing chemical companies to mislabel ethylene
glycol as better-than-food-grade 99.5% pure glycerin. That glycerin was sold to
manufacturers of cough syrup in the US and Latin America. In America, one
chemist at the buyer had an odd feeling about the glycerin they’d just bought
and decided, with no law making him do so and no management order to do so, to
double-check the purity. That he found that it was just as pure as it said, but
pure poison not pure medical-grade glycerin, is the only reason we didn’t have
as many dead kids as we now have dead pets.”

a classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSJck7ezGAo

spider bites give erections: http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2007/05/viagras_upcomin.html (also, the spider is totally throwing up the horns. it’s a totally FUCKIN’ METAL SPIDER)

you shouldn’t go crazy just cos someone says you’re going to die: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070507/od_nm/britain_spree_odd_dc_1

the best children’s book ever: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2457332 no, i’m not fucking with you, that really IS a REAL book: http://www.amazon.com/Latawnya-Naughty-Horse-Learns-Drugs/dp/0533091020/ Hmmm…I have friends who just had kids, I wonder if that would make a good gift.

wanna play a game? http://philip.greenspun.com/dating/index.tcl

If you know who Phillip K. Dick is, you might be interested in: http://www.mtvmoviesblog.com/2007/05/17/bill-pullman-is-kind-of-but-not-really-philip-k-dick/ (if you don’t know who PKD is, fix that.)

grindhouse (excellent movie, btw,) is not just a title of a movie, but a style unto itself. like say, gonzo journalism, but about horror and shock etc. So check out movie posters for movies you know and love but done grindhouse style: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/grindhouse-movies.php?page=1

hey, speaking of gore: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070517/ap_on_re_us/internal_decapitation;_ylt=Ala1lKvugwgqSODmZxVjIeAEtbAF

and perhaps not unrelated, there’s a pill that’s gonna make periods go away for ever: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18745930/

xoxo,