dream 31mar09

2009.03.31

in a big megamart warehouse, like a costco or super walmart and i am running around trying to find and get my guitar from Los but it’s still being fixed so i just wind up taking his Jackson (with a dinky neck) or maybe custom Ibanez instead

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dream 28mar09

2009.03.28

i am in kentucky, driving in a fucking van, heading to a folk gig just me and my acoustic guitar which is not my current acoustic which is a cutaway but rather a dreadnought and i run into Little Trouble Girl who tells me she blew her boss, telling me “i guess those lap dance lessons paid off” and a coquetish look which is totally unlike her (because she has strong moral objections to boss/employee hanky panky) and then i run into the twins (i think shawn? i don’t remember) who offer me a guitarist gig in their metal band and i tell them i’ll sit in but i still live in miami dudes so i can stop by but regular gigs here are bit of a bitch and the alarm goes off and i wake

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thou art thine art

2009.03.13

I enjoy making stuff.

Let me ‘splain. No, takes too long, let me sum up:

creating is fun. you make a new thing and ideally in the process you learn something about yourself even if it’s something trivial like “i was able to finish this stupid tiny goal”.  Not every song has to be some Leonard Cohen self-torture brutally honest thing about how Janis Joplin blew you in a hotel room (no, really). Sometimes it has to be. Sometimes you gotta blow off steam about whatever — war or how you can’t stand your fucking job or how that evil bitch broke your heart or whatever. I’ve found that to do that type of stuff justice I have to focus, I can really only get to the austereness, the economy of language that says it exactly right, if I grind against the thing, let it fester like a thorn in my side and then I can think about it dispassionately, clinically. But for making the thing for the sake of making the thing, I find that I need to collaborate, even if it’s improvisationally, with someone else. Something to bounce off of, a spark that makes you go “I had never thought about it quite like that”. There’s a Tom Waits interview where he goes on and on about his wife and he describes how sometimes she’ll help him write a song by suggesting that he write as if they were, for example, travelling in China with a banjo. I don’t know where the hell I’m going with this. Maybe I should collab more. Today’s jam at Eden’s place was short because we ran out of cabling and couldn’t record and I wound up having to go play taxi driver again. C’est la vie.

signifiers

2009.03.09

I was on a date, a long time ago, with this woman. Well spoken, articulate, beautiful, a bit awkward in that way people are on dates. We went to Versailles, this cuban restaurant — it was late and it was the only place open that wasn’t fast food bullshit and she wasn’t familiar with real cuban food, so why not? — and we order and eat, and I finished before she did so I ordered coffee while she finished. The waiter came to take my plates away and mistakenly reached for hers and she snapped at him. I should have known then it was fucked, and in retrospect I can pinpoint that as the moment I Should Have Known Better. Not so much because she treated the waiter poorly, although I suppose that’s a signifier as well, but the look on her face was…I don’t know, rage. Almost a comtemptous snarl.

I don’t know why this came to mind recently; a je ne sais quoi of regret?  My subconscious reminding me that I am a bad judge of people that I’m fond of? Time will tell.

edit 5/5/09; commenting disabled on this post because of spam.

quick vignettes

2009.03.08

- the old man’s going to spain tomorrow. was supposed to leave yesterday but ACTUALLY was supposed to leave friday. ooooops. but this actually was cool because i wound up
– having a cookout at my dad’s. my house is nice, my yard is cool but damn he’s got me beat on the grill. fucker.
– it was hot (fire is, often,) so the beer was nice but i dislike carbonated drinks and so now i am bleeeehhhhhhh.
– holy shit it’s taken me like 15 years but i finally started to like Beck’s albums beyond “mellow gold” and “sea change”
– THIS WEEK i will finally get to eden’s house and play music with him and bunny. ideally i’ll talk them into doing stuff on the magazine thing idea i am blatantly stealing from warren ellis’ LJ.

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