dream 3may2008


apartment bldg, behind brysons and over one, but not really – it feels like the apts in little havana, – overcast but not rainy, i am walking through the hallway and i am walking to get a tricycle (the huge adult ones like old people use like abuela gypsy used to have before she got frail before she died) so that i can get shit done because there’s a timetable and i need to go home and get stuff and then elsewhere and do stuff and do not want to be here because b is here and there she is in front of me back turned and smoking or trying to light a smoke fucking dammit like when you don’t want something to happen and there is happens and all of a sudden it’s fucking forgiveness dream wherein she is too proud and bitter and pissed and i am indifferent and this is getting her even more upset and i have fucking shit to do lady i need to go and you are making me sad — not sorrow, not grief, not even upset, just…hey, bummer man, — and there’s tony, indifferent or didn’t notice me or whatever but steadfastly Not My Concern and I am leaving and i suddenly have the fucking tricycle except now it’s a bike? and it’s that hot stillness before a storm and as i bike down the street the rain starts and i wake